Acknowledgements

Rules for you

1 Keep it under your hat

2 You’ll get older but not necessarily wiser

3 Accept what is done is done

4 Accept yourself

5 Know what counts and what doesn’t

6 Dedicate your life to something

7 Be flexible in your thinking

8 Take an interest in the outside world

9 Be on the side of the angels, not the beasts

10 Only dead fish swim with the stream

11 Be the last to raise your voice

12 Be your own adviser

13 No fear, no surprise, no hesitation, no doubt

14 I wish I’d done that – and I will

15 It’s OK to give up

16 Count to ten – or recite ‘Baa baa black sheep’

17 Change what you can change, let go of the rest

18 Aim to be the very best at everything you do – not second best

19 Don’t expect to be perfect

20 Don’t be afraid to dream

21 If you’re going to jump off a bridge, make sure you know how deep the water is

22 Don’t dwell on the past

23 Don’t live in the future

24 Get on with life – it’s whooshing past

25 Be consistent

26 Dress like today is important

27 Have a belief system

28 Leave a little space for yourself each day

29 Have a plan

30 Have a sense of humour

31 Choose how you make your bed

32 Life can be a bit like advertising

33 Get used to stepping outside your comfort zone

34 Learn to ask questions

35 Have dignity

36 It’s OK to feel big emotions

37 Keep the faith

38 You’ll never understand everything

39 Know where true happiness comes from

40 Life is a pizza

41 Always have someone – or something – that is pleased to see you

42 Know when to let go – when to walk away

43 Retaliation leads to escalation

44 Look after yourself

45 Maintain good manners in all things

46 Prune your stuff frequently

47 Remember to touch base

48 Draw the lines around yourself

49 Shop for quality, not price

50 It’s OK to worry, or to know how not to

51 Stay young

52 Throwing money at a problem doesn’t always work

53 Think for yourself

54 You are not in charge

55 Have something in your life that takes you out of yourself

56 Only the good feel guilty

57 If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all

Partnership Rules

58 Accept the differences, embrace what you have in common

59 Allow your partner the space to be themselves

60 Be nice

61 You want to do what?

62 Be the first to say sorry

63 Go that extra step in trying to please them

64 Know when to listen and when to act

65 Have a passion for your life together

66 Make sure your love making is making love

67 Keep talking

68 Respect privacy

69 Check you both have the same shared goals

70 Treat your partner better than your best friend

71 Contentment is a high aim

72 You don’t both have to have the same rules

Family and friends Rules

73 If you are going to be a friend, be a good friend

74 Never be too busy for loved ones

75 Let your kids mess up for themselves – they don’t need any help from you

76 Have a little respect and forgiveness for your parents

77 Give your kids a break

78 Never lend money unless you are prepared to write it off

79 Keep schtum

80 There are no bad children

81 Be up around people you love

82 Give your kids responsibilities

83 Your children need to fall out with you to leave home

84 Your kids will have friends you don’t like

85 Your role as a child

86 Your role as a parent

Social Rules

87 We’re all closer than you think

88 It doesn’t hurt to forgive

89 It doesn’t hurt to be helpful

90 What’s in it for them?

91 Hang out with positive people

92 Be generous with your time and information

93 Get involved

94 Keep the moral high ground

95 Just because you have, doesn’t mean they have to

96 Do compare yourself with other people

97 Have a plan for your career

98 Look at the long-term ramifications of what you do for a living

99 Be good at your job

100 Be aware of the damage you are doing

101 Be for the glory, not the degradation

102 Be part of the solution, not the problem

103 Check what history would say about you

104 Not everything can be green

105 Put something back

106 Find a new Rule every day – or occasionally at least

The Rules of happiness

1 Take the long view

2 Do something you're good at

3 Like yourself

4 Look from the other direction

5 Spin it

6 Mix it

7 Find a distraction

8 Know who you value

9 Break down the blocks

10 Take control

Had enough yet?

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