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Women of all ages want to make others happy-it's just in a woman's nature, isn't it? But what happens when that "need to please" goes wrong, and a woman keeps pushing herself harder while simultaneously ignoring her own needs? What happens when a woman begins to think self-sabotaging girly thoughts-thoughts like If only I was thinner . . . younger . . . prettier . . . was into kinkier sex . . . ? What happens when relationships sour and the trauma is carried into subsequent relationships? Noted psychologist and author Dr. Patricia O'Gorman answers these questions for today's generation of women. This expanded and updated edition of her groundbreaking book Dancing Backwards in High Heels reveals how girly thoughts are just conclusions women reach as a way of making sense of the trauma they've experienced and the resulting codependency issues they grapple with. They need to be reminded from time to time of the saying that while legendary dancer Fred Astaire received top billing, "Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels." Whether dealing with family members, coworkers, intimate relationships, or a best friend, when a woman feels "less than" she often misses the path toward achieving her true potential. Blaming herself for what someone else has done to her is, sadly, a common theme among women, but Dr. O'Gorman shows how this reaction is merely how women have been conditioned to respond-then provides the tools they need to break the cycle and become more resilient. Resilience, according to Dr. O'Gorman, is the part of us that celebrates cycles: it looks forward to new beginnings and back to past lessons. Using this life-long lens, readers will learn valuable ways of looking at their interpersonal relationships and will acquire tools to become more resilient, and they will: Discover the resilience patterns established in childhood Learn how "girly thoughts" become so powerful and how to neutralize them Understand issues that are specific to women when dealing with any relationship Learn to overcome trauma-physical, psychological, and emotional Discover how to self-motivate by losing the victim mentality Learn to listen to the inner self and align with personal strengths as a way to tap into personal power Understand what resiliency is and is not, and how to achieve it Determine personal resilience patterns