Sarah Lizabeth Barker is a wedding planner, florist, venue owner, and an educator in the events industry. Her work has been featured in Buzzfeed, The Huffington Post, Southern Weddings, and beyond. She has also won several industry awards, including “Best Planner and ­Florist” and “Industry Leader” for Smart Meetings magazine.

Introduction 1

About This Book 1

Foolish Assumptions 2

Icons Used in This Book 2

Beyond the Book 3

Where to Go from Here 3

Part 1: It’s YOUR Day! 5

Chapter 1: You Said Yes! 7

Congratulations, It’s Time to Celebrate 7

Living by the Three Ps of Wedding Planning 8

Perspective 8

Process 12

Pause 12

Enjoying the Planning Process 12

Setting boundaries with family and friends 13

Continuing to date your fiancé 15

Considering premarital counseling 16

Sample wedding planning checklist 18

Picking the Perfect Date 18

Chapter 2: Sharing the Exciting News 23

Spreading the Word 24

Announcing your engagement 24

Planning the engagement party 25

Making the social media announcement 27

Selecting Your Squad 28

Understanding the job requirements 29

Standing by your side 33

Proposing to your bridal party 35

Showers, Bashes, and Parties 36

Gift registries 36

Bachelorette bash 38

Bachelor party 39

Couple’s shower 40

Bridal shower 41

Chapter 3: Everyone Has a Budget 43

Knowing What’s Most Important to You 44

Figuring Out Who’s Paying 46

What Does Your Budget Include? 47

Resourcing your connections 51

Setting limits 51

Buyer beware: Service fees 53

Tips and gratuities 53

Part 2: Taking Care of Logistics 55

Chapter 4: Your Day Is Only as Good as Your Team 57

Putting Your Plans in the Hands of Others 58

Developing the all-important trust factor 58

Remembering that quality is worth the cost 59

Getting referrals 61

Deciding how much outsourcing you’re comfortable with 62

Researching on social media 63

Selecting the Very Best Vendors 65

Wedding planner 65

Flowers and decor 67

Rentals 70

Photography 72

Videography 74

Catering 76

Bar and bartending 77

Baker 78

Entertainment 79

Transportation 80

Hotel room blocks 82

Welcome bags for your guests 83

Marriage Isn’t the Only Bond You’re Entering Into: Contracts 84

Understanding what you’re signing 84

Don’t forget all the details 85

Deposits and retainers 87

Reading the fine print 88

Chapter 5: All-Inclusive Wedding Planning 89

What’s Actually Included? 90

Budget-Friendly or Budget Breaker? 91

Making It Your Own 94

Asking the right questions when meeting with an all-inclusive planner 95

Looking at ways to customize an all-inclusive wedding 96

Chapter 6: Location, Location, Location 99

Picking Your Perfect Ceremony and Reception Venue 100

Considering Indoor Event Venues 103

Knowing Your Options for Outdoor Events 108

Taking cover from sun and rain: Tents and coverage 109

Wind: It’s a four-letter word for a reason 111

Considering an All-Inclusive Wedding Venue: Pros and Cons 113

Chapter 7: Inviting Friends and Family 117

Deciding What Size Really Matters 117

Micro wedding: An intimate affair 118

Medium wedding: It’s “just right” 119

Large wedding: Go big or go home 120

Organizing Your Guest List 120

Deciding who’s invited 121

Setting up your guest list 122

Getting the Word Out 124

Sharing updates on a wedding website 124

Asking people to save the date 125

Sending the all-important wedding invitations 126

Getting a headcount with RSVPs 134

To mail or to email? 138

Providing Helpful Handouts 140

A guide to your wedding: Programs 140

Teasing the tastebuds: Menus 143

Boy, girl, boy, girl: Place cards 144

Showing gratitude: Thank-You Cards 146

Chapter 8: Adding Special Touches with Flowers 149

First Things First: Determining Your Style 149

Wearing and Carrying Floral Accents 151

Choosing the perfect bridal bouquets 151

Bring on the bridesmaids’ bouquets 153

Stick a pin in it: Boutonnieres 154

Simple and elegant: Corsages 154

So sweet: Flowers for flower girls and ring bearers 155

Recognizing the attendants and ushers 156

Sprucing Up the Ceremony Space 156

Adorning the altar 157

Decorating the aisle 158

Additional decor 159

Creating a Festive Feel at the Reception 162

Cocktail hour 162

Setting the perfect table 163

Check-in table 166

Room accents 167

Sample Flower Order 168

Part 3: Style Icon 171

Chapter 9: In Pursuit of Your Dream Dress 173

Selecting the Perfect Dress 174

Gathering floral and decor inspiration 176

All shades of white 176

Complement your silhouette, neckline, and arms 178

Thinking about the train and veil 182

Underneath It All: Picking the Proper Undergarments 187

From Head to Toe 188

Headpieces 189

Shoes 189

Something old, new, borrowed, blue 190

Picking the Perfect Hairstyle 193

Makeup: How Much Is Too Much? 195

Chapter 10: What Everyone Else Will Be Wearing 199

Duds for Your Dude: The Groom’s Attire 200

Suit up or suit down? 201

Tie, handkerchief, vest? 202

Choosing Attire for the Bridal Party 203

Bridesmaids 204

Groomsmen 205

Parents 208

Grandparents 209

Flower girl and ring bearer 209

Attendants 210

Officiant 211

Part 4: Ceremony To-Do’s 213

Chapter 11: Making Your Marriage Legal 215

Selecting Your Officiant 217

Heading to the Courthouse: Marriage License Protocol 219

Navigating Same-Sex Legalities 220

Changing Your Name 221

Determining your new name 222

Offices to officially change your name 222

Banks, utilities, and more 224

Chapter 12: Where the Magic Happens: Planning and Personalizing Your Ceremony 227

Deciding on Your Ceremony Celebration 228

Nondenominational 228

Spiritual 230

Religious 232

Designing a Ceremony That Tells Your Love Story 235

Personalizing the ceremony script through stories and other details 235

Overview of the ceremony components 236

Processing in and skipping out 237

Vows and rings 240

Setting the Mood with Music 243

Selecting the musicians 244

Selecting specific songs 244

Additional Ceremony Must-Haves 247

Guestbook 249

Gifts 249

Programs 250

Part 5: Let’s Party 251

Chapter 13: Celebrating After the Ceremony: The Reception 253

Setting the Tone 254

Music 254

Flowers and decor 254

Other details 255

Examining the Elements of a Typical Reception 255

Cocktail hour 256

Bridal party introductions 258

Welcome 259

Dinner 259

Cake cutting 260

Toasts 261

Special dances 262

Dance, dance, dance 264

Bouquet toss 265

Garter toss 266

Late night 266

Exit 267

Making the Most of Your Time with a Reception Timeline 267

Chapter 14: What’s on the Menu? 271

Selecting the Caterer 271

Local restaurant 272

Catering company 272

Food truck 273

Picking Your Preferred Type of Dinner Service 273

Plated seated 273

Buffet 275

Stations 277

Thinking about What You Want to Eat 278

Appetizers and cocktails 280

What’s for dinner? 281

How sweet it is 281

Let’s Drink to That 285

Cash bar versus hosted bar 286

Tending bar: Leave it to the professionals 288

Avoiding a traffic jam 288

Bar aesthetics 290

Selecting wine and beer 291

Specialty drinks 291

Liquor 292

Chapter 15: Enjoying Your Party 293

Selecting the Perfect Entertainment 293

Cocktail hour music 295

Dinner music 295

Dancing music 295

Booking a band 296

Spinning with a DJ 297

Your Grand Exit 298

Last dance 299

Party favors 299

Exit celebration 301

Getaway vehicle 303

Honeymoon suite 304

Part 6: Wedding Weekend Events 305

Chapter 16: Practice Makes Perfect 307

Drawing Up the Master Plan for the Weekend 307

Vendor contact information 308

Bridal party contact information 309

Timeline of day-before-the-wedding events 310

Timeline of the big day (with a first look) 310

Timeline of the big day (no first look) 313

Flowers and decor 314

Floor plan 314

Guest list 314

Distributing Your Master Plan 315

Walking through Who Stands Where and Says What 316

Getting everyone in order at the rehearsal 317

Who’s giving a toast? 318

Informing Your Bridal Party 319

Enjoying Yourself at the Rehearsal Dinner 320

Picking the guest list 321

Scouting out the perfect location 321

Choosing the food and beverage 322

Toasts 323

Gifts for your bridal party 324

Late-night celebration 326

Rest and Recover for the Big Day 327

Chapter 17: Pre- and Post-Wedding Events 329

Bridal Party Activities 330

Getting showered 330

Bridesmaids’ lunch 332

Groomsmen bro time 333

Brunch the Day After Your Wedding 335

Picking the guest list 335

Selecting the location 336

Saying Goodbye to Family and Friends 337

Allowing time for goodbyes at the reception 337

Saying goodbye at a post-wedding event 338

Chapter 18: Honeymooning with your BFF 339

Thinking about Your Time of Travel 340

Selecting the Perfect Location 340

Working with a Travel Agent 343

Going Abroad 344

Packing for the Trip 345

Life After Wedding Planning 347

Experiencing the bridal blues 347

Thinking about what’s next 348

Part 7: The Part of Tens 351

Chapter 19: Ten Ways to Ensure a Bad Day 353

Don’t Set a Budget 353

Don’t Hire a Good Team 354

Skip the Timeline 354

Don’t Communicate the Plan 355

Invite Everyone You Know 355

Don’t Pick a Supportive Squad 355

Get Caught Up in the Drama 356

Ignore What You Want 356

Stop Dating Your Fiancé 356

Lose All Perspective 357

Chapter 20: Ten Reasons You’re Normal 359

Wedding Dress Frustration 359

Fiancé Frustration 360

Having Nightmares 360

Disappointed with the Bridal Party 361

Totally Obsessed with Checking the Weather 361

Practicing Your Facial Expressions 362

If You’re Totally Freaking Out 362

If You’re Drinking Too Much 362

If You’re Frustrated with Your Guests 363

If You Have Practiced the Kiss 363

Index 365

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