9781580084635

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack : Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will)

  • ISBN 13:

    9781580084635

  • ISBN 10:

    158008463X

  • Format: Hardcover
  • Copyright: 09/07/2010
  • Publisher: Random House Inc

Note: Not guaranteed to come with supplemental materials (access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.)

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Summary

The first and only full-color survival guide on how to prevent, prepare for, and ward off a home invasion by garden gnomes. Move over zombies and adolescent vampires, there's a new threat in town-and it's about three feet tall. The common garden gnome, a deceptively benign lawn ornament, has been gathering momentum as a cultural icon -and suburban guerilla. Fortunately, Gnome Defense Expert (GDE) Chuck Sambuchino offers a proven three-step strategy (Assess, Protect, Defend, or APD) for safeguarding possessions, pets, and loved ones from a gnome home invasion. The book includes schematics for gnome-proofing your dwelling, instructions for confrontations at close range, correct gnomenclature, case histories of human vs. gnome clashes, and innovative ideas for rebuilding in the aftermath of a successful attack.

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