At 16, Mark Time wants to become either a geologist or a Royal Marines Commando. So which does he choose? Despite his love of basalt, he chooses the career that teaches him how to kill. . . and shit in plastic bags. Knowing his weak body will have to shape up to complete 30 weeks of commando training, Mark prepares for the Royal Marines by sleeping in his shed wearing only plastic bags. He braves pain by ordering his mate to attack him while trapped in a sleeping bag. He starves himself in a stupid urban survival exercise, turning down the offer of crispy pancakes from his bewildered mother. He is ready. Some might say for the nut house. . . Often hilarious and yet shockingly sobering, this is the true story of a boy who joins one of the world’s most elite military units with only naivety and incompetence equaling his will to succeed.