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You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right? But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it? Suddenly finding herself forty and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough. Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Todayshow to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point," to Newsweekand NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned forty, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"? That's where Marry Himcomes in. By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry HimGottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face--how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy--as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties. Marry Himis an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake- up call about getting real about Mr. Right.
Lori Gottlieb is the author of the national bestseller Stick Figure, and a journalist whose work has appeared in Time, People, Glamour, Elle, Salon, and The New York Times. A regular commentator for NPR's All Things Considered, she's also been a regular dating expert on Los Angeles' biggest TV morning news program.
Table of Contents
Prologue: The Husband Store
How Did We Get Here?
The Dating Trenches
The Romantic Comedy That Predicted My Future
How Feminism Fucked Up My Love Life
Speed Dating Disaster
From Fantasy to Reality
Older, and Wanting to Be Wise?
The What Versus the Why
Mondays with Evan-Session One: The Percentages
It's Not Him, It's You
Making Smarter Choices
Don't Be Picky, Be Happy
Mondays with Evan-Session Two: The Wrong Assumptions
The Men Who Got Away
Pulling Another Sheldon
Mondays with Evan-Session Three: The Lowdown on Alpha Males
What First Dates Really Tell Us
Are Women Pickier Than Men?
What Really Matters
Mondays with Evan-Session Four: Wants Versus Needs
The Business of Love
Love at Twenty-seventh Sight
Mondays with Evan-Session Five: The Chemistry-to- Compatibility Ratio
Dump the List, Not the Guy
Putting It All Together
The Good Enough Marriage
A Visit with the Rabbi
Claire's Story-Getting Over Myself
Alexandra's Story-Mr. Right in Front of Me
Hilarys Story-Finding What I Needed
My Story-A Dating Public Service Announcement
Epilogue: Where They Are Now
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