Stunning and difficult, Stella Goldman is programmed for maximum nuisance capacity, but when she discovers both her father's affair and her boyfriend's infidelity on the same day, she flees into the arms of kindly Pen, who speaks as though he's stepped out of Brief Encounter.

Meanwhile, her friend Ellen struggles to come to terms with the death of her sister, Lydia, whose ghost haunts not only her and her father Roland, but the beloved Goldmans (from Brother of the More Famous Jack), too. Along with eccentric professors, wicked monks, and the titular travelling hornplayer, their lives collide in a breathtaking finale.