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How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack : Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They ...

ISBN: 9781580084635 | 158008463X
Format: Hardcover
Publisher: Random House Inc
Pub. Date: 9/7/2010

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The first and only full-color survival guide on how to prevent, prepare for, and ward off a home invasion by garden gnomes. Move over zombies and adolescent vampires, there's a new threat in town-and it's about three feet tall. The common garden gnome, a deceptively benign lawn ornament, has been gathering momentum as a cultural icon -and suburban guerilla. Fortunately, Gnome Defense Expert (GDE) Chuck Sambuchino offers a proven three-step strategy (Assess, Protect, Defend, or APD) for safeguarding possessions, pets, and loved ones from a gnome home invasion. The book includes schematics for gnome-proofing your dwelling, instructions for confrontations at close range, correct gnomenclature, case histories of human vs. gnome clashes, and innovative ideas for rebuilding in the aftermath of a successful attack.

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