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Helping Children Cope with Divorce

by: Teyber, Edward

Helping Children Cope with Divorce

by: Teyber, Edward

ISBN 13:
9780787955540
ISBN 10:
078795554X
Edition: Revised
Format: Paperback
Copyright: 04/23/2001
Publisher: Jossey-Bass

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Summary

Named One of the 10 Best Parenting Books of the Year by Child Magazine, this revised edition teaches you to minimize stress during initial breakups and ultimate separation, explain divorce so children don't blame themselves, protect children from parental hostilities, and navigate conflicts of loyalty and alliance.

Acknowledgments

xiii

Part One: Introduction

(28)

You Can Help Your Children Successfully Adjust to Divorce

(26)

``What Will Happen to My Kids? I Feel So Guilty!''

The Changing American Family

(6)

The Effects of Divorce on Children

(7)

Divorce Is Painful for Parents

(12)

Part Two: Children's Concerns During the Breakup

(58)

Divorce Causes Separation Anxieties

(24)

``If Dad Left, Won't Mom Go Away Too?''

What Causes Children's Separation Anxieties

(7)

How Marital Separation Threatens Children's Attachments

(4)

Explaining the Divorce to Children

(6)

Explaining a Trial Separation

(2)

What to Do When Abuse Has Occurred

(5)

Children Want to Reunite Their Parents

(13)

``If I'm Really Good, Maybe Mom and Dad Will Get Back Together Again.''

Three Sources of Reunification Fantasies

(2)

When Children Exert too Much Control

(7)

Explaining the Permanence of Divorce to Children

(3)

Children Feel Responsible for the Divorce

(19)

``Maybe If I Had Been Good, Mom and Dad Wouldn't Have Gotten a Divorce.''

Why Children Feel Responsible

(4)

Guidelines for Talking with Children About the Divorce

(5)

Responding to Sadness

(9)

Part Three: Guidelines for Parents

(84)

Parental Conflict and Cooperation

(19)

``Do I Have to Be Friends With My Ex to Be a Good Parent? We're Never Going to Get Along!''

Buffering Children from Parental Hostilities

(9)

Expressing Parental Conflicts Through the Children

(7)

Ending the Marriage

105

(3)

Children Need Their Mothers and Fathers

108

(29)

``Dad Doesn't Come See Me Anymore. What's Wrong With Me?''

Children Often Lose Both Parents

109

(8)

Adverse Consequences When Fathers Disengage

117

(7)

Gender Differences in Reactions to Divorce

124

(4)

Fathering After Divorce

128

(9)

Custody, Mediation, and the Courts

137

(34)

``What Kind of Mother Am I if My Kids Miss Their Dad When They're Spending Time with Me?''

The History of Custody Determination

137

(3)

Joint Legal and Physical Custody

140

(10)

Primary Physical Custody to One Parent

150

(2)

General Guidelines for Living Arrangements

152

(9)

Resolving Disputes Through Mediation

161

(10)

Part Four: Childrearing After Divorce

171

(86)

Loyalty Conflicts

173

(16)

``Why Should I Let Them Go? He Never Spent Time with Them When We Were Married!''

Effects of Loyalty Conflicts on Children

174

(2)

Why Parents Make Their Children Choose

176

(6)

Understanding Family Alliances

182

(3)

An Agreement for Parental Cooperation

185

(4)

Parentification: Turning Children into Adults

189

(18)

``My Child is My Best Friend. What's Wrong with That? She's Very Happy and So Responsible!''

Three Types of Parentification

190

(5)

The Adverse Consequences of Parentifying Children

195

(5)

Why Parentification Occurs

200

(4)

Assessing Parentification

204

(3)

Childrearing Practices

207

(28)

``How Can You Keep Trying to Tell Me What to Do? Look How You've Screwed Up Your Life.''

Common Approaches to Discipline

208

(7)

Discipline After Divorce

215

(3)

Effective Discipline

218

(8)

Childrearing Problems in Shared Parenting Households

226

(9)

Stepfamilies: Forming New Family Relationships

235

(22)

``You're Not the Boss of Me. You're Not My Mother!''

The Bias Against Stepfamilies

235

(1)

Children's Reactions to Stepfamily Formation

236

(3)

Three Styles of Stepparenting

239

(2)

Becoming Stepparents

241

(6)

Forming a Successful Stepfamily

247

(6)

Guidelines for Parents

253

(1)

Conclusion

254

(3)

About the Author

257

(2)

Index

259

Amazon no longer offers textbook rentals. We do!

Helping Children Cope with Divorce

Helping Children Cope with Divorce

9780787955540

078795554X

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials

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