9781400071197

Set Your Husband's Heart Ablaze Are you a "desperate housewife," committed to marriage yet longing for a deeper, more intimate connection with your husband? Believe it or not, youcanhave the marriage you long forif you're willing to take desperate measures. If you're ready to stop the blame game and pursue the marriage of your dreams, let authors Shannon and Greg Ethridge show you how to reignite your relationship with spiritual, emotional, and physical passion. Drawing on real-life stories from both men and women, as well as lessons from their own less-than-satisfying early years of marriage, they offer penetrating insights about what it takes to nurture a dynamic marriage, including... what makes a husband's heart grow coldand how you can fan the embers into flame the difference between being "right" and being "righteous" how to fight fair how to guard your heart against unhealthy comparisons the dynamic power of getting spiritually and emotionally naked what your husband really wants most (It's not what you think!) Every Woman's Marriagewill give you practical tools and wise biblical counsel for transforming a listless marriage into a vibrant, exciting relationship. Get ready to set your husband's heart ablaze! From the Trade Paperback edition.

Shannon and Greg Ethridge have been married for sixteen years. Shannon is the best-selling author of a dozen books, including Every Woman’s Battle. A speaker, lay counselor, and advocate for sexual integrity, she has been featured on numerous radio and television broadcasts, including The 700 Club and Focus on the Family. Greg is a certified public accountant and avid horticulturalist. The couple lives with their two children in a log cabin in east Texas.

Acknowledgments

xi

Introduction

1

(6)

Stephen Arterburn

Fred Stoeker

Part I: When Hearts Grow Cold

Desperate Housewives, Desperate Husbands

7

(10)

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

17

(14)

Part II: Looking at the Big Picture

Burning Out or Just Warming Up?

31

(7)

A Greater Gift Than Expected

38

(11)

The Ministry of Marriage

49

(12)

Part III: How His Flame of Joy and Passion Dies

Games Women Play

61

(9)

Riding Emotional Escalators

70

(9)

Leaving His Sidelines

79

(9)

Comparing Apples to Oranges

88

(7)

Married to Mrs. (Always) Right

95

(12)

Part IV: Igniting His Flame Once Again

What Men (Really) Want Most

107

(5)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

112

(11)

A Fair Fight

123

(12)

A Safe Haven

135

(12)

Part V: Throwing Fuel on the Flame

Setting His Heart Ablaze

147

(4)

The Mental-Physical Connection

151

(11)

The Spiritual-Emotional Connection

162

(11)

His and Her Burning Questions

173

(12)

From Coasting to Cruising

185

(5)

Notes

190

What is included with this book?

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Chapter One

desperate housewives, desperate husbands

“You just don’t meet my emotional needs!”

After seven years of marriage, I was actually thinking of leaving Greg and my two young children in pursuit of the “love” I felt entitled to but didn’t feel I was getting in our relationship. I had no idea where I would go or how I would make it on my own, but I wasn’t sure I could survive a lifeless marriage. I felt like I was nothing more than a maid, cook, nanny, and occasional outlet for sexual tension, positions for which I was sadly underpaid.

I couldn’t imagine how my heart had grown so cold toward my husband. We met on April 21, 1989, when I visited a local church’s singles group for a game night. Although I don’t believe in love at first sight, Greg definitely caught my attention that evening as he stood head and shoulders above all the other single guys (literally, since he’s six foot seven). Every time we had to pair off with a partner for another game, I hoped Greg and I would wind up together, but no such luck. However, things did begin to warm up between us as we got to know each other over the next several weeks, and we began dating exclusively that summer. Every morning I walked through the neighborhood praying,Lord, I want to marry whomever You want me to, but if You are looking for my input, I’d like it to be Greg!

I soon felt 110 percent sure that Greg was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. By Thanksgiving I was desperate for him to pop the question, and he finally did just before Christmas. He said, “You plan the wedding, and I’ll plan the honeymoon.” That sounded great to me.

We married on April 21, 1990, exactly one year after we had met. Even my dad knew Greg was definitely the one for me. He said to me on the way down the aisle, “Don’t you even think about changing your mind, or I may have to put a shotgun to your back!” The thought of backing out never even entered my mind. This was too good to be true, and I wasn’t about to mess it up.

However, before the honeymoon was over, feelings of discontent reared their ugly heads. Greg had planned a trip to Walt Disney World for five days, followed by a two-day weekend in Clearwater Beach, Florida. The first morning we woke up in Orlando, I was completely wiped out from all the wedding festivities and traveling. I just wanted to leave the shades down, the covers up, and enjoy a few extra hours of sleep. However, I was awakened when Greg sat down on the edge of the bed, showered, shaved, dressed, and ready to go by 7:00 a.m. “Come on! Get up! Let’s go have breakfast with Mickey!” he coaxed.

I gave in and dragged myself into the shower at that ungodly time of the morning. But after two hours of following Greg all over Epcot Center, his long legs trotting from ride to ride and my squattier legs galloping to keep up, I threatened to go back to the hotel room without him. He tried to slow down, fighting back his enthusiasm, and I tried to calm down, fighting my urge to complain about his choice of honeymoon spots. Although it was fun and we made some great memories, sprinting all over Walt Disney World was not my idea of a relaxing, romantic honeymoon. All that week I looked forward to lying on the beaches of Clearwater and just vegetating in the sun together as husband and wife.

But there would be no basking in the sun that weekend. We arrived at Clearwater Beach in the midst of a windstorm and a cold front that brought temperatures in the low fifties. Thinking that we’d not be spending much time indoors, Greg had booked a dumpy little hotel room, but we couldn’t get out much since we only brought warm-weather clothes. We m

Excerpted from Every Woman's Marriage: Igniting the Joy and Passion You Both Desire by Shannon Ethridge, Greg Ethridge
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Every Woman's Marriage : Igniting the Joy and Passion You Both Desire

Every Woman's Marriage : Igniting the Joy and Passion You Both Desire

1400071194

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials

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