9780670034239

Jasper Fforde's bestselling Thursday Next series delights readers of every genre with its literary derring-do and brilliant flights of fancy. In The Big Over Easy, the first book in a new series, Fforde takes a break from classic literature and tumbles into the seedy underbelly of nursery crime.

Jasper Fforde is the author of the bestselling Thursday Next series. The Big Over Easy is the first in his new Nursery Crime series.

Author's Note

xiii

Mary Mary

1

(13)

Jack Spratt

14

(13)

The Fall Guy

27

(20)

Mrs. Hubbard, Dogs and Bones

47

(5)

Prometheus

52

(12)

Mrs. Laura Dumpty

64

(8)

The Nursery Crime Division

72

(7)

The Armory

79

(6)

Back at the Office

85

(7)

Charles Pewter

92

(7)

The Sacred Gonga

99

(8)

St. Cerebellum's

107

(7)

First on the Right

114

(1)

Meeting the Detective

115

(7)

Granny Spratt's Displeasure

122

(6)

Mrs. Singh Turns the Story

128

(9)

The Inquiry Begins

137

(9)

Lord Randolph Spongg IV

146

(9)

Solomon Grundy

155

(8)

Press Conference

163

(12)

RIP, Mrs. Dumpty, and ``the Case. . . Is Closed!''

175

(8)

Titans and Beanstalks

183

(7)

Mary's Doubts

190

(8)

Briggs v. Spratt

198

(7)

Good Night, Wee Willie Winkie

205

(7)

Meet the Grundys

212

(6)

Perplexity, Complexity

218

(7)

Castle Spongg

225

(9)

Lola Vavoom

234

(12)

Another Press Conference

246

(8)

Home, Sweet Home

254

(11)

Giorgio Porgia

265

(10)

What Bessie Brooks Had to Say for Herself

275

(7)

Investigated

282

(8)

Summing Up

290

(4)

Refilling the Jar

294

(6)

The Man from the Guild

300

(7)

Lola Vavoom Returns

307

(5)

The Red Ford Zephyr

312

(7)

The Goring Foot Museum

319

(6)

Dr. Horatio Carbuncle

325

(10)

Return to Castle Spongg

335

(19)

Loose Ends

354

(12)

The End of the Story

366

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"It was the week following Easter" If Queen Anne hadn?t suffered so badly from Gout and Dropsy, Reading might never have developed at all. In 1702 the unhealthy Queen Anne, looking for a place to ease her Royal infirmities, chanced upon Bath; and where Royalty goes, so too does society. In consequence, Reading, up until that time a small town on a smaller tributary of the Thames, became a busy staging post on the Bath road, later to become the A4, and ultimately the M4. The town was enriched by the wool trade and later played host to several large firms that were to become household names. By the time Huntley & Palmers biscuits began here in 1822, Simonds brewery was already well established; and when Suttons Seeds began in 1835 and Spongg's footcare in 1853, the town's prosperity was assured. -excerpt from A History of Reading It was the week following Easter in Reading, and no one could remember the last sunny day. Gray clouds swept across the sky, borne on a chill wind that cut like a knife. It seemed that spring had forsaken the town. The drab winter weather had clung to the town like a heavy smog, refusing to relinquish the season. Even the early bloomers were in denial. Only the bravest crocuses had graced the municipal park, and the daffodils, usually a welcome splash of color after a winter of grayness, had taken one sniff at the cold, damp air and postponed blooming for another year.A police officer was gazing with mixed emotions at the dreary cityscape from the seventh floor of Reading Central Police Station. She was thirty and attractive, dressed up and dated down, worked hard and felt awkward near anyone she didn't know. Her name was Mary. MaryMary. And she was from Basingstoke, which is nothing to be ashamed of."Mary?" said an officer who was carrying a large potted plant in the manner of someone who thinks it is well outside his job description. "Superintendent Briggs will see you now. How often do you water these things?" "That one?" replied Mary without emotion. "Never. It?s plastic." "I?m a policeman," he said unhappily, "not a sodding gardener." And he walked off, mumbling darkly to himself. She turned from the window, approached Briggs's closed door and paused. She gathered her thoughts, took a deep breath and stood up straight. Reading wouldn't have been everyone's choice for a transfer, but for Mary, Reading had one thing that no other city possessed: DCI Friedland Chymes. He was a veritable powerhouse of a sleuth whose career was a catalog of inspired police work, and his unparalleled detection skills had filled the newspaper columns for over two decades. Chymes was the reason Mary had joined the police force in the first place. Ever since her father had bought her a subscription to Amazing CrimeStories when she was nine, she'd been hooked. She had thrilled at "The Mystery of the Wrong Nose," been galvanised by "The Poisoned Shoe" and inspired by "The Sign of Three and a Half." Twenty-one years further on, Friedland was still a serious international player in the world of competitive detecting, and Mary had never missed an issue. Chymes was currently ranked by Amazing Crimesecond in their annual league rating, just behind Oxford's ever-popular Inspector Moose. "Hmm," murmured Superintendent Briggs, eyeing Mary's job application carefully as she sat uncomfortably on a plastic chair in an office that was empty apart from a desk, two chairs, them- and a trombone lying on a tattered chaise longue. "Your application is mostly very good, Mary," he said approvingly. "I see you were with Detective Inspector Hebden Flowwe. How did that go?" It hadn?t gone very well at all, but she didn?t think she?d say so. "We had a fairly good clear-up rate, sir." "I?ve no doubt you did. But more important, anything published?" It was a question that was ask

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The Big Over Easy A Nursery Crime

The Big Over Easy A Nursery Crime

0670034231

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