9780141028606

Everyone knows that Jeremy Clarkson finds the world a perplexing place after all, he wrote a bestselling book about it. Yet despite the appearance of The World According To Clarkson, things don't seem to have improved much. However, Jeremy is not someone to give up easily and he's decided to have another go. In And Another Thing, our exasperated hero discovers that: bull; He inadvertently dropped a bomb on North Carolina bull; We're all going to explode at the age of 62 bull; Russians look bad in Speedos. But not as bad as we do. bull; No one should have to worry about being Bill Oddie's long lost sister bull; He should probably be nicer about David Beckham Thigh-slappingly funny and as ever in your face, Jeremy Clarkson bursts the pointless little bubbles of the idiots while celebrating the special, the unique and the sheer bloody brilliant. . .

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Jeremy Clarkson is the presenter of Top Gear. He writes for The Sun, The Sunday Times, and Top Gear Magazine.

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Sorry, Hans, brassy Brits rule the beaches now

When package holidays began, all of a sudden we couldexperience life at close quarters with people from othernations. We thought the Germans were the most ridiculouspeople on the beach.As Monty Python pointed out years ago, they pinchedthe sun beds and barged into the queues and frightenedthe children. And if you weren’t at the buffet spot-onseven, Fritz had wolfed all the sausages.But with the advent of the Boeing 747 came the longhaulholiday and we realised that the Germans werecountry mice compared with the Americans. No shortswere too large, no thong was too small.What’s more, Hank does not like to sit on the beachand read a book. He likes to shout and play volleyball.When the Yanks are around, it’s like being on holiday ina primary school playground.For years the Americans were in a class of their own,but then the Berlin Wall fell down and, as a result, fromthe Indian Ocean through the Middle East and the Mediterraneanto the Caribbean, Boris and Katya were makingall the running.In many ways the Russians are like the Americans.They’re either far too fat or far too beautiful. There’s nomiddle ground. And again, like Uncle Sam, no part ofthe body is immune from man-made enhancement. TheAmericans go for surf-white teeth; the Russians for alarmingspecial forces tattoos. And neither seems to see anythingwrong with breast enlargement. I saw one Russianwoman on the beach in Barbados the other day who hadthe body of a walnut and a chest that put Antigua in theshade.However, where the Russians move into an easy leadis beach attire. For the men it’s the traditional Speedo,while the women seem to get their fashion pointers frominternet porn sites. I haven’t yet seen anyone struttingdown the beach in stockings and suspenders but it’s onlya matter of time.Today, though, a new contender has come along andblown the old favourites into the seaweed. The title ofMost Stupid People on the Beach has gone in 2004 . . .to Britain.We were designed to make Spitfires and Beagles. We’resupposed to be in a shed, in gloves, inventing stuff. Wetherefore do not look good on a beach. We’re piggywhite and if you expose us to the sun, we turn intoBattenburg cake.We’re designed for bracing walks along the front inScarborough and wet camping holidays in Scotland. Butour newly discovered wealth means we can now go tothe tropics. Because it’s new money, we really have noidea what to do with it.

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And Another Thing The World According to Clarkson

And Another Thing The World According to Clarkson

0141028602

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