For anyone who’s ever gone on terrible date, a vulnerable memoir that explores dating in midlife after divorce, with bad dates—from terrible one-night stands to promising matches who ultimately disappoint—anchoring the theme of every chapter.

After two life-shaking events—losing her father and divorcing the man she’s spent half her life with, who happens to be an actor from a famous family—Rachel Lithgow leaves a thirty-year career to write full time and pursue a relationship with a calming, delightful man she recently met online. She thinks she has it all figured out . . . until he announces he’s joining a cult and moving to Phoenix with a blonde real estate agent.

Through a year of terrible dates, peppered with a few great experiences and a lot of pinot noir, the author learns that patterns can be changed, that asking for help is sometimes necessary, and that there’s only one way to repair her brokenness: by facing her trauma and demons head-on.

With a unique mix of humor, self-deprecation, and gritty vulnerability, this dark yet hopeful memoir tackles divorce, dating, single motherhood, PTSD, grief, loss, and starting over in midlife. From emotional rock bottom to a peaceful acceptance of the woman she truly is, Lithgow finds the humor in the blackness, redemption in the pathos, and fulfillment in the idea that “happily ever after” isn’t always a storybook ending—and doesn’t need to be.