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Becoming a Good Relative weaves the author’s personal story of transformation with historical research, spiritual teachings, and an appendix of practical skills, resources, and rituals. Giovale offers warm, compassionate, and vulnerable personal stories to reveal how unlearning fragility, becoming antiracist, and repairing ancestral harm can feel. She invites readers beyond intellectual analysis into intuition, dreams, and practical rituals. These practices can transform the harms of colonialism, racial hierarchy, and economic inequity from the inside out. While written as a memoir, this book gives readers practical tools for building their own resilience and committing to reparations for the long term.

This book is for white people who are curious about moving beyond white fragility and into robust healing. It speaks to the TikTok users who have viewed videos on #decolonization 14 million times. It also addresses the philanthropic sector, which has increased its overall giving by 41% since 2019, along with regular Americans’ substantial donations, and is seeking inspiration to direct more funding to communities of Color.

Hilary Giovale is a writer, community organizer, speaker and reparative philanthropist, and has served on boards for philanthropic, human rights, and environmental organizations. For most of her life, her origins were obscured by the delusion of whiteness until she learned a painful reality: her family’ s occupation of this land harmed Indigenous and African peoples and cultures. Divesting from whiteness, she bridges divides with truth, healing, apology, and forgiveness. She follows Indigenous and Black leadership supporting human rights, environmental justice, and equitable futures.

Table of Contents with Chapter SummariesForeword by Luisah Teish, PhD - African American Elder, Founding Mother of Ile Orunmila Oshun, and author of Jambalaya: The Natural Woman’ s Book of Personal Charms and Practical RitualsLuisah Teish co-envisioned this book. I asked her to write the foreword because she served as a guiding mentor and coach for my writing process. (2 pages)Author’ s Preface (13 pages) The preface describes the book’ s structure and defines key terms. It shares the book’ s guiding inquiry: how can people of privilege wake up, do our work, and learn to become good relatives from the inside out? Offering an overview for Parts One, Two, and Three, it also outlines my nature-based, intuitive methodology.The preface clarifies that, while this book has been informed by Indigenous cultural practices, it is not an appropriation of Indigenous identity. Finally, it offers transparency about my positionality. It names the paradox of a person with layers of intersecting privilege writing a book about dismantling that privilege. Part One - Spinning the Thread (65 pages)Part One questions the white, middle-class, religious American worldview of my upbringing. I engage readers with stories set in the Amazon Rainforest, eastern Democratic Republic of Congo, and remote Hebridean Islands. Indigenous women guide me to viscerally understand how colonization has been impacting their families and communities for generations. To my surprise, I perceive how whiteness and colonization have hurt my family, as well. I begin a relationship with a sacred mountain of kinship, and offer guidelines for respectfully learning from Indigenous and other marginalized cultures. Part Two - Weaving (165 pages)Committing to a traditional Indigenous fasting ceremony, I embark on four years of contemplation. I discover that my ancestors were colonizers and enslavers. Heartbroken, I take my amnesia, grief, and rage to the natural world for guidance. With the help of an Indigenous-led environmental movement, historical research, and diverse relationships, my perspective shifts. Guided by dreams and intuition, I repair broken relationships with my ancestors. Practicing ancestral apology and forgiveness delivers healing. In solidarity with communities of Color, I become accountable and make reparations.The First YearAncestors get my attention with a startling event, and I see hard truths for the first time. Indigenous-led ceremonies in Europe galvanize my newfound interest in healing and repair. The Second YearI experience how colonialism harms marginalized communities as well as privileged communities. An Indigenous prophecy and a dream combine to deliver my next assignment.The Third YearShame becomes a catalyst for ancestral healing, unlearning whiteness, and Indigenous solidarity work. I offer an ancestral apology and receive an unexpected response. The Fourth YearMy understandings of the Divine Feminine, gentrification, and the Doctrine of Discovery develop more nuance. I struggle to accept how wealth accumulation exploits people and our planet. Embracing truth and forgiving the unforgivable, I make a reparations plan and redistribute wealth.Part Three: The Fabric (25 pages) I connect with my ancestral Celtic, Nordic and Germanic roots through investigating history, languages, and songs. I discover that my ancestors’ earth-connected cultures were at one time congruent with the Indigenous ways from which I have been learning. I experience wholeness, connection, and belonging. Closing Poem by Lyla June Johnston, PhD - Diné Poet, Performing Artist, Scholar, and InfluencerLyla June served as a key advisor on the manuscript, and I asked her to write this closing poem. It shares her vision for the unity of all peoples and the wellbeing of Life on Earth.Appendix (15 pages)

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Becoming a Good Relative Calling White Settlers Toward Truth, Healing, and Repair

Becoming a Good Relative Calling White Settlers Toward Truth, Healing, and Repair

8987663175

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