9789077256046

This handbook helps you understand yourself and others in a non-judgemental, proven, productive way. When you know your own style and adapt it to others' Social Styles, communication gets easier, conflict lessens, and your influence increases. Many say it's a life changing experience.

Wilson Learning is a global leader in human performance improvement solutions for Fortune 500 and emerging organizations internationally, with operations in the US and 30 countries worldwide. Wilson Learning links human capability to business strategy through best-in-class experts, original and on-going research, and practical field experience. The company's integrated offerings include research, strategy implementation, assessment-based employee development, consultation and customization, learning resources, and leading edge multi-media.

Foreword by Larry Wilson

7

(2)

SECTION 1: THE CASE FOR COMMUNICATION

9

(12)

1. Introduction

9

(6)

Words Aren't the Key

10

(2)

Social Styles, Versatility and Success

12

(2)

Summary

14

(1)

2. Mindset Matters

15

(6)

A Warm-Up Exercise

15

(2)

The Exercise

15

(1)

The Point of the Exercise

16

(1)

Essential Mindsets

17

(3)

Mindset #1: Look for the Signals and Respond Correctly

17

(1)

Mindset #2: Be Prepared to Act in Ways that Don't Feel Comfortable

17

(2)

Mindset #3: You Can't Change Your Own Style, But You Can Adapt Your Behavior

19

(1)

Mindset #4: Diversity is Enriching, But Requires Understanding

19

(1)

Summary

20

(1)

SECTION 2: DIMENSIONS OF SOCIAL STYLES

21

(67)

3. A New View of Behavior

21

(3)

Two Critical Assumptions

22

(1)

Social Styles Focuses Only on Observable Behavior

22

(1)

Perception is Reality

22

(1)

Summary

23

(1)

4. Assertiveness and Responsiveness - The Measures of Behavior

24

(9)

Assertiveness and Responsiveness

24

(7)

Assertiveness - The Measure of Influencing

25

(1)

Responsiveness - The Measure of Expressing

26

(2)

Assertiveness and Responsiveness - The Basis for the Social Styles Matrix

28

(3)

Summary

31

(2)

5. Versatility - Adapting Your Style

33

(3)

Versatility in Action

34

(1)

Comfort Zones - Yours and Theirs

34

(1)

Summary

35

(1)

6. Task and Relationship Tension - Productive or Unproductive?

36

(6)

Task Tension

36

(1)

Relationship Tension

37

(1)

Rising and Falling Tension

38

(2)

Moving from Relationship to Task Tension

40

(1)

Summary

41

(1)

7. Comfort - The Key to Trust and Confidence

42

(6)

Comfort Opens the Way to Trust

42

(1)

The Effects of Discomfort

43

(1)

The Payoffs for Making Others Comfortable

44

(2)

The Requirements for Comfort

46

(1)

Summary

47

(1)

8. Habit - Getting Beyond Comfort and Custom in Communication

48

(6)

Comfort Zones and Habits

48

(2)

Adapting - Better than Just Reacting

50

(1)

Style Modification

51

(2)

Summary

53

(1)

9. Generalizing and Judging - Pros and Cons

54

(5)

When Generalization and Judgments Make Sense

55

(1)

Behavior, Feeling, and Thinking

56

(2)

Summary

58

(1)

10. Back-Up Behavior - Fight or Flight

59

(10)

Fight or Flight Tendencies

59

(3)

Back-Up Recovery Strategies - LSCPA

62

(3)

Listen

62

(1)

Share

63

(1)

Clarify

63

(1)

Problem-Solve

64

(1)

Ask for Action

64

(1)

Adapting LSCPA to Fight or Flight Behavior

65

(2)

Summary

67

(2)

11. Building Relationships - Entry, Dialogue and Closure

69

(15)

Entry

71

(3)

Purpose, Process and Payoff (PPP) Statements

71

(2)

Credibility

73

(1)

Dialogue

74

(4)

Listening

74

(1)

Exploring

75

(1)

Integrating

76

(2)

Closure

78

(3)

Affirming the Agreement

79

(1)

Supporting the Decision

79

(1)

Enhancing the Relationship

80

(1)

Building Trust

81

(1)

Summary

82

(2)

12. The Social Style Self-Profiler

84

(4)

SECTION 3: SOCIAL STYLES IN DEPTH

88

(74)

13. Living and Working with Analyticals

88

(19)

Analytical Expectations

89

(4)

Entry with Analyticals

93

(3)

Dialogue with Analyticals

96

(1)

Closure with Analyticals

97

(2)

Affirming

97

(1)

Supporting

98

(1)

Enhancing

99

(1)

Adapting Your Style for Analyticals

99

(4)

Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Analyticals

103

(1)

If You Are an Analytical

104

(1)

Summary

105

(2)

14. Living and Working with Drivers

107

(18)

Driver Expectations

109

(3)

Entry with Drivers

112

(3)

Dialogue with Drivers

115

(1)

Closure with Drivers

115

(3)

Affirming

116

(1)

Supporting

116

(1)

Enhancing

117

(1)

Adapting Your Style for Drivers

118

(2)

Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Drivers

120

(1)

If You Are a Driver

121

(3)

Summary

124

(1)

15. Living and Working with Amiables

125

(20)

Amiable Expectations

128

(2)

Entry with Amiables

130

(1)

Dialogue with Amiables

131

(3)

Closure with Amiables

134

(3)

Affirming

135

(1)

Supporting

135

(1)

Enhancing

136

(1)

Adapting Your Style for Amiables

137

(3)

Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Amiables

140

(1)

If You Are an Amiable

141

(3)

Summary

144

(1)

16. Living and Working with Expressives

145

(17)

Expressive Expectations

146

(3)

Entry with Expressives

149

(1)

Dialogue with Expressives

150

(2)

Closure with Expressives

152

(3)

Affirming

152

(1)

Supporting

153

(1)

Enhancing

154

(1)

Adapting Your Style for Expressives

155

(2)

Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Expressives

157

(1)

If You Are an Expressive

158

(2)

Summary

160

(2)

SECTION 4: LESSONS FROM SOCIAL STYLES EXPERTS

162

(18)

17. Speeding Up the Learning Curve

162

(18)

Take It Slowly

163

(1)

Don't Jump to Conclusions

164

(1)

Stay Away From Stereotypes

165

(1)

Be Realistic About the Power of Social Styles

165

(1)

Be Aware of Styles Within Styles

166

(1)

Accept People's Behavior as a Sign of Their Comfort Zones and Nothing More

166

(1)

Observe One Dimension of Behavior - Assertiveness or Responsiveness - At a Time

167

(1)

Observe Verbal and Nonverbal Behaviors - and Be Objective

167

(1)

Start Assessing Styles Even Before Your First Meeting

168

(1)

Use Introductions as Early Indications of Style

169

(1)

Focus on Making Only Minor Modifications in Your Behavior

170

(1)

Live By the Platinum Rule

171

(1)

Value Diversity

172

(2)

Selling is Easier with Social Styles in Mind

174

(2)

Recognize When You Are the One in Back-Up

176

(2)

Don't Expect Reciprocity

178

(1)

Consistency and Integrity Matter Most

178

(1)

Don't Try to Be Someone Else

179

(1)

Appendix

180

(3)

Resources

183

(3)

Contributors

186

(2)

Index

188

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The Social Styles Handbook

The Social Styles Handbook

9077256040

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials