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When Rosalind Wiseman first publishedQueen Bees & Wannabes, she fundamentally changed the way adults look at girls' friendships and conflictsfrom how they choose their best friends, how they express their anger, their boundaries with boys, and their relationships with parents. Wiseman showed how girls of every background are profoundly influenced by their interactions with one another. Now, Wiseman has revised and updated her groundbreaking book for a new generation of girls and explores: How girls' experiences before adolescence impact their teen years, future relationships, and overall success The different roles girls play in and outside of cliques as Queen Bees, Targets, and Bystanders, and how this defines how they and others are treated Girls' power playsfrom fake apologies to fights over IM and text messages Where boys fit into the equation of girl conflicts and how you can help your daughter better hold her own with the opposite sex Checking your baggagerecognizing how your experiences impact the way you parent, and how to be sanely involved in your daughter's difficult, yet common social conflicts Packed with insights about technology's impact on Girl World and enlivened with the experiences of girls, boys, and parents, the book that inspired the hit movieMean Girlsoffers concrete strategies to help you empower your daughter to be socially competent and treat herself with dignity.

ROSALIND WISEMAN is cofounder of the Empower program, a not-for-profit organization that works to empower girls and boys to stop violence. She is an advisor to Liz Claiborne’s Women’s Work program and has been featured on The Oprah Show and CNN and in publications such as USA Today, the Washington Post, and the New York Times. She lives in Washington, D.C.

From the Hardcover edition.

Introduction	p. 1
Technology, the Media, and Girl World	p. 21
Is It Really Happening So Much Younger?	p. 53
Cliques and Popularity	p. 78
Passport to Girl World: Communication and Reconnaissance	p. 111
The Beauty Pageant: Who Wants to Be Miss Congeniality?	p. 150
Mean Girls: Teasing, Gossiping, and Reputations	p. 188
Power Plays and Politics: Speaking Truth in Girl World	p. 230
Boy World	p. 269
Girl World Meets Boy World	p. 290
Pleasing Boys, Betraying Yourself	p. 323
Sex, Drugs, Alcohol, and Partying in Girl World	p. 361
Getting Help	p. 397
Resources	p. 407
Acknowledgments	p. 423
Index	p. 425
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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Introduction
I just overheard my 8-year-old daughter’s friend tell her that she’ll only hang out with my daughter at our house because everyone else in the class thinks she’s weird. And my daughter agreed! I’m having a very hard time not hating this girl and everyone else in the class. Meanwhile, what is wrong with my daughter that she’s OK with this? I didn’t raise her to be a doormat. –Patty

My 12-year-old daughter has a great relationship with my brother, and she just told him that she had two boys in the house when we weren’t there. Of course he told me but now I don’t know what to do. It’s totally against our rules but if I punish her she’ll know her uncle told me and she’ll stop talking to him. If I don’t do anything, she’ll do it again! What do I do? –Leah

What do you do when your daughter is the Queen Bee? My daughter talks so badly about other people that she’s starting to lose all her friends. I’m having a hard time liking her myself.
–Marianne

I just went through my 14-year-old daughter’s text messages and want to throw up. I couldn’t believe the language she was using about herself and other kids in her class. –Todd

Eight years ago I sat down to write a guide for parents about their daughters’ friendships. Well, I don’t know about you, but my life certainly hasn’t been the same since. People talk aboutQueen Beesat work, on television, and in their preschool playgroups. You can buyQueen BeeT-shirts, backpacks, and pencil cases–as if being one is something your daughter should aspire to. Every day people ask me questions or share their experiences about Girl World and Queen Bees. For better and for worse, our awareness of Queen Bees and Mean Girls is now commonplace.

Meanwhile, girls are still in the thick of Girl World–where people won’t tell you why they’re mad at you, friends tease you and then dismiss your feelings with “Just kidding!,” and everyone texts and instant messages every rumor and embarrassing photograph about you. So the first time your daughter tells you that all her friends have stopped talking to her and she has no idea why, you want to know what to say and what to do–beyond wanting to yell at all those horrible children you now hate. But then things get more complicated when you pick her up the next day at school and there she is arm in arm with one of those Mean Girls like nothing ever happened. You stare at your daughter as she opens the door and begs you to let this kid come over, refusing to acknowledge that she has been co-opted by the Mean Girl World and ignoring your “are you kidding me?” expression.

Welcome to the wonderful world of your daughter’s adolescence. Ten seconds ago she was a sweet, confident little girl. Now you can’t breathe in her direction without getting that really annoying eye roll, followed by the equally irritating sigh. Or maybe, one day she’s insecure and wants to sit on your lap, but the next day she’s threatening to run away and you’re ready to pack her bag. She’s facing the toughest pressures of adolescent life– test-driving her new body (while you’re giving her a big sweatshirt to cover up that figure she seemed to have developed overnight), navigating changing friendships, surviving crushes, trying to keep up with school–and intuitively you know even though she’s sometimes totally obnoxious, she needs you more than ever. Yet it’s the very time when she’s pulling away from you.

Why do girls so often reject their parents and turn to their friends instead, even when those friends often treat them so cruelly? One day your daughter comes to school and her friends suddenly decide they hate her.

Excerpted from Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World by Rosalind Wiseman
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.

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Queen Bees and Wannabes

Queen Bees and Wannabes

0307454444

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials

Excerpts