9780830734412

For better or for worse, everyone has a father. Whether he was there or not during your youth, he has shaped and continues to shape who you are and how you function in every aspect of life. Society might declare that fathers aren't necessary, but that doesn't explain why people with absent or detached fathers have an empty, unidentifiable longing -- for Dad.

Dr. David Stoop is a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder and director of the Center for Family Therapy.

Part One The Importance of Father

ONE The Journey Toward Dad

14

(11)

Life with Father

Mr. Mom?

Desperately Seeking Daddy

TWO What Only Dad Could Do

25

(22)

Early Childhood: Birth to Age Five

The Elementary School Years: Ages Six to Twelve

Adolescence: The Teen Years

THREE The Four Roles of Fathers

47

(32)

The Nurturer

The Lawgiver

The Warrior/Protector

The Spiritual Mentor

FOUR God as Our Model for Fatherhood

79

(12)

God Our Nurturing Father

God Our Lawgiving Father

God Our Warrior Father

God Our Spiritual Mentor

Part Two When Father Wasn't There

FIVE Father Absence in Early Childhood

91

(18)

Pam, Heidi, and Lisa

Ron, Jerry, and Ted

SIX Father Absence in the Elementary School Years

109

(16)

Marian and Linda

Garry and Ed

SEVEN Father Absence in Adolescence

125

(20)

Jeanne and Amy

Wally

Part Three When Father Let Us Down

EIGHT Ways Our Fathers Eluded Us

145

(26)

The Workaholic Father

The Silent Father

The Emotionless Father

The Alcoholic Father

The Tyrannical Father

The Abusive Father

The Seductive Father

The Competitive Father T

he Idealized Father

The Good-Enough Father

NINE Doubly Dangerous Fathers

171

(18)

The Physically Abusive Father

The Molesting Father

The Terrorizing Father

The Weak Father

Part Four Hope and Healing

TEN Facing the Truth

189

(24)

Step One: Identify the Symptoms

Step Two: Get the Facts

Step Three: Identify Family Secrets and Family Myths

Step Four: Speak the Unspoken

Step Five: Rewrite History

Step Six: Process the Losses

ELEVEN Making Peace with Your Father

213

(20)

Step Seven: Wait

Step Eight: Forgive

Step Nine: Invite Others to Share Your Journey

Step Ten: Explore New Roles

Step Eleven: Redeem the Past

TWELVE God Our Healing Father

233

(8)

God Our Patient Father

God Our Healing Father

A Step-by-Step Journal for Making Peace with Your Father

241

(22)

Notes

263

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Making Peace with Your Father Understand the Role Your Father has Played in Your Life - Past to Present

Making Peace with Your Father Understand the Role Your Father has Played in Your Life - Past to Present

0830734414

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials