That’s the message of this fresh and funny relationship book by beloved actress-comedian Loni Love. Full of down-to-earth advice on love, sex, and dating, Loni delivers answers to women’s most pressing relationship questions along with plenty of hilarious been-there-done-that tales—from hooking up to breaking up to everything in between.

As Loni says, “You can love him or you can leave him, but the day a man starts taking advantage of you is when you need to remember that putting yourself first is the most important step in finding love. That’s the foundation for all the advice I give, because it’s a message so many women need to hear, over and over, like multiple orgasms.”

Sure you can act like a lady and think like a man, or admit that he’s just not that into you, but the path to lasting love is looking out for number one and treating yourself like the great catch you are.

If you’re in a great relationship, Loni gives tips on keeping it strong. (Love him.) If you’re having problems that seem insurmountable, she tells you how to extricate yourself from difficult situations. (Leave him.) But no matter what, don’t let yourself get bullied, cheated on, or taken advantage of (aka Stuck with the Tab). Every woman deserves a healthy, satisfying, exciting love life, so what are you waiting for? Loni Love has all the answers.