One of the world's foremost practitioners of insult comedy, Jeffrey Ross has memorably and uproariously roasted some of our favorite celebrities. Part memoir and part how-to guide,I Only Roast the Ones I Loveunveils the irreverent secrets every successful roastmaster should know, such as how to: Write roast jokes Turn any event into a roast your friends will never forget Rip your honoree a new one without hurting their feelings Save yourself if you bomb Prepare yourself to take a punch Give toasts at family gatherings Save lives through roastingJeff's hilarious and poignant stories feature everyone from Dave Chappelle and Courtney Love to Tom Cruise and Bea Arthur and take readers backstage for unforgettable roasts of stars like Pamela Anderson, Flavor Flav, William Shatner, Shaquille O'Neal, Larry the Cable Guy, Bob Saget, and even the finalists ofDancing with the Stars. Most of all, Jeff's teachings will inspire you to channel your own inner roastmaster.