Eytan Bayme went to Jewish day school and Jewish camp. He lived across the street from a synagogue in the Bronx, which he attended weekly, and kept kosher for most of his childhood. Yet even at the age of six, he wanted to know what the deal was with those Pizza Huts and Burger Kings that he wasn’t allowed in. God wouldn’t put them on Earth if He didn’t mean for us to try them, he thought. Wasn’t that obvious? Also why can’t he stop thinking about girls in bed, late at night, with his little brother five feet away? And how come the starting lineup for the 1986 Mets keeps creeping into those fantasies?

High Holiday Porn is the story of an Orthodox Jewish boy in the Bronx who discovers masturbation during Passover dinner, gets caught with porn on Yom Kippur, and finally figures out that the way into a girl’s pants is through her heart. It’s a hilarious and heartwarming memoir that will resonate with anyone who ever felt awkward growing up.