Madison Flight refuses to be born for five days. She comes out eventually – kicking, screaming, and scarred for life by forceps – but it isn’t long before her mother, Cynthia, realises the terrible truth: she has given birth to the world’s first arguing baby.

Cyntha’s husband Mitchell soon takes off in terror, leaving her to raise their quarrelsome rugrat with only the help of the next door neighbour Shirley – a sadistic retired nurse who detests children.

Madison’s young life is full of proud milestones: at the age of one she breaks the world record for the number of times anyone has said the word ‘no’ during a two week Spanish package holiday - 4,477 times – and she gets better with practice. Lots of practice.

This is the story of a girl who wanted to be right rather than happy. This is the story of the girl who couldn’t stop arguing.